Juicero is still the greatest example of Silicon Valley stupidity

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Putting the ‘Hydra’ in hydration

Juicero might be dead, but it still consumes my every waking thought. I sit at my desk, making gentle ninja hand movements and quietly singing “Jui-cero!” to myself like Homer Simpson singing the Max Power theme song. My Twitter feed is filled with paranoid rants about subscription juicing.

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Juice hacking

In April 2017, in a video that will never not be funny, san diego deck shoes Bloomberg showed that Juicero’s produce packs were essentially giant ketchup sachets of fruit and windward deck shoes vegetable pulp that you could scoop straight out of the bag and mens deck shoes squeeze with your hands.

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I was ruminating on the whole phenomenon, nassaue deck shoes what Juicero’s final CEO, tan deck shoes Jeff Dunn, coolers deck shoes called “the sum of the system .” If my colleagues had tuned back in and listened to my increasingly wild-eyed juice rants (they didn’t), they’d have known I wasn’t just referring to the Juicero machine.

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I’d “hack” the fruit by mushing it over a juicing cone, occasionally licking my hands like a child. Then I’d enjoy this hand-squeezed abomination in front of the morning news, brown boat shoes watching breaking news about global spinach recalls in comfort and style. I’d been doing it all wrong. Here I was, using the supply chain of my legs and feet to walk to the grocer to buy oranges.

Juicero was classic Internet of Shit (yes, that Twitter account will change your world). It took a traditional product and added so many bells and whistles it became an unrecognisable Homer car of unnecessary complications.

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