Juicero is still the greatest example of Silicon Valley stupidity

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But while Juicero is gone, I’m still waiting for another two identical companies to spring up in its place. The first tribute has already arrived: san diego deck shoes san diego deck shoes nassaue deck shoes plymouth deck shoes An at-home cold-press juicer out of China called the Julavie, which launched in 2017 and kicked off a crowdfunding campaign last month.

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I don’t want to have to recharge my mens deck shoes or ladies deck shoes answer a personality quiz to find my protein powder match. I don’t want to subscribe to my couch. And coolers deck shoes I don’t want to have to work out a unique password to stop my underwear getting hacked. I don’t want it to start buffering because my monthly credit card payment didn’t go through.

I’d “hack” the fruit by mushing it over a juicing cone, occasionally licking my hands like a child. I’d been doing it all wrong. Then I’d enjoy this hand-squeezed abomination in front of the morning news, watching breaking news about global spinach recalls in comfort and style. Here I was, ladies deck shoes using the supply chain of my legs and feet to walk to the grocer to buy oranges.

That value included produce packs that were “calibrated by flavor.” It included the “connected data” that Juicero used to manage its supply chain. Or the fact that Juicero could “remotely disable Produce Packs if there is, for example, a spinach recall.”

Subscription underwear. Subscription protein powder. Washboard, the company that charged $27 to send you $20 of laundry quarters every month. Feather, the service that lets you “subscribe to your furniture”.

In fact, you could ditch that compost squeeze-box altogether — just use your meat hooks and windward deck shoes mash that fruit pulp like God intended! The Juicero’s plates (plates that could supposedly create enough pressure to lift two Teslas) were effectively nothing more than two giant, Wi-Fi connected hands doing what your own hands could do. No need to sync the app. No need to scan the QR code on the bag. Your hands were a Juicero, but in airplane mode. No need to insert the produce pack into the Juicero.

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