Juicero is still the greatest example of Silicon Valley stupidity

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A world where a glass of fresh juice in the morning didn’t require you to squeeze pulpy citrus between your bare hands like a monkey. It promised convenience. The $400 Wi-Fi-connected juicer, san diego deck shoes billed by company founder Doug Evans as “the first at home cold-pressed juicing system,” promised so much when it launched in 2016.

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Here I was, mens deck shoes using the supply chain of my legs and feet to walk to the grocer to buy oranges. I’d been doing it all wrong. I’d “hack” the fruit by mushing it over a juicing cone, seafarer wellies occasionally licking my hands like a child. Then I’d enjoy this hand-squeezed abomination in front of the morning news, watching breaking news about global spinach recalls in comfort and plymouth deck shoes style.

When the warm-weather fashionista puts her best foot forward this year, it is bound to be ablaze with colour and embellishment and deck shoes online all the flair that patterned fabrics can provide. Royal style icons are embracing the fashions, putting a best foot forward with the stylish new colour patterns about to hit the mainstream, coolers deck shoes and riviera deck shoes no doubt the Olympics and surrounding events will spur some additional offerings in the patriotic flavor of summer footwear designer freemantle deck shoes.

Juice hacking

In April 2017, mens deck shoes mens boat shoes bahamas deck shoes in a video that will never not be funny, riviera deck shoes Bloomberg showed that Juicero’s produce packs were essentially giant ketchup sachets of fruit and vegetable pulp that you could scoop straight out of the bag and squeeze with your hands.

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“Perfected by Earth,” the Juicero billboards read. The company’s whole aesthetic — from its machines, to its website to its advertising —  took a leaf out of Jony Ive’s Apple design book, with sleek lines, coolers deck shoes poppy colours and a lot of white. “Pressed by us.” If the machine was the giant juice-squeezing iPod, mens boat shoes mens boat shoes maderia deck shoes the Produce Packs were the 99-cent tracks you digested every morning.

In fact, leather deck shoes you could ditch that compost squeeze-box altogether — just use your meat hooks and mash that fruit pulp like God intended! Your hands were a Juicero, but in airplane mode. No need to scan the QR code on the bag. No need to sync the app. No need to insert the produce pack into the Juicero. The Juicero’s plates (plates that could supposedly create enough pressure to lift two Teslas) were effectively nothing more than two giant, Wi-Fi connected hands doing what your own hands could do.

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